“Where did your penis go?”

Anyone who has had a toddler, and especially anyone who has potty trained one, can appreciate that your bathroom time is not your own with a little one around. Mike and I don’t hesitate to use the restroom in front of Alex, and in fact we consider it important modeling so that he will learn to do what we are doing so that we can be done with diapers and pull ups for good.

There have been many mornings when Alex has exclaimed with glee, “you did it Mommy! You went pee pee on the potty! You get a sticker!” So he gets it.

But this morning was a little different. He was standing there watching me and all of a sudden he got a look of total horror and consternation on his face and said to me solemnly “Where did your penis go?” He looked so scared and upset, and it was so hard NOT to bust out laughing. I just very neutrally explained “Mommy doesn’t have a penis. Only boys have penises, and Mommy is a girl. I never had a penis! It’s OK, Mommy was just born without a penis, which is why she is a girl.” The rest of the conversation went as follows:
“You never had a penis?”
“That’s right, because Mommy is a girl.”
“Do you have a butt?”
“Yes, we all have butts. The back part of people is all the same, it is just the front part that is different.”
“Oh, you have a butt, too, right? Ok. Alex has a penis.”
“That’s right, because Alex is a boy.”
“Daddy has a penis.”
“Yes, Daddy is a boy, too.”
“Baby Nate has a penis.”
“Yes, Baby Nate is a boy and he has a penis.”
“But Mommy doesn’t have a penis.”
“Right. Girls don’t have penises.”
“Alex has a penis, but not mommy.”
“You got it! High Five!”
And at that point, thankfully, we moved on. At least by the end of the conversation, he no longer seemed scared or worried about my lack of a penis.

I never thought I would be high fiving anyone for figuring out who has penises and who doesn’t. But hey, it was an important tidbit for him to process!