Still Processing

Tootsie Nani’s passing still weighs a bit heavily on Alex, I am afraid. Last night, we had the radio on for his bed time music (don’t get me started on the saga that is our alarm clock drama!) and Amazing Grace came on, which was a song that we sung at Tootsie Nani’s funeral mass. Alex made a comment about how this music was different from the straight instrumental classical he has come to expect from NPR at night. I explained that it was Sunday and so they were playing church music. He then blurted out “is this the song they play when people die?” I explained that it is a song about love and about God and that they play it when people die, but also at other times at church because it is a beautiful song. He got real quiet. I hated to put words in his mouth, but I asked “does this make you think of Tootsie Nani?” He nodded solemnly, and I could see he was fighting tears. I told him it was OK to miss Tootsie Nani and that he didn’t have to listen to this song if he didn’t want to. I found the other station playing classical music, hugged him tight, and gave him extra kisses before tucking him into bed.